Imposter’s Syndrome

As you all may be aware, I’m not one to follow the standard logic behind Writer’s Block. The standard is that it is this immovable force that the Muse puts before you and forces you not to write. I believe that it is your subconscious standing in your way telling you there is something wrong with your story.

From the website: Psychology Today

The imposter syndrome is a psychological term referring to a pattern of behavior where people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.

This is on the lines of what I believe that imposter’s syndrome is. Unlike Writer’s Block, there is no mistake on what it represents. There is no ‘hack’ in my mind to solving it like I do with “Writer’s Block.” Why? Cause I have it.

Every Sunday for the past six months, I have been publishing a blog post. And every Sunday, I see the same people reading what I say and liking it. It turns out that there are people out there from around the world who want to read what I have to say.

I honestly don’t know why. My mind says that I’m not special with nothing good to say, despite being able to post every week. It also tells me that I haven’t earned even the success that I have so far and that it was a fluke. The anxiety that I had to post this blog kept me from writing it for a month so far.

The Silent Killer of Creativity

The big issue with imposters syndrome for many people, myself included, is that it stops us from trying. It also prevents us from seeking help. There is a stigma to it, that perhaps those thoughts are correct and that if you come out and say it, people will judge you for it. 

It stopped me from writing or doing creative things. It has stopped me from drawing things, from trying new things and from putting my work out there.

The threat of being exposed as a fraud is a giant wall for many people. They end up drawing endless notebooks worth of material, and never post it anywhere. They write novels and novels of stories. However, they don’t put it out for publication. The threat of being a fraud, of opening your mouth and proving to the world the truth is too great for many people.

Even the best of us.

The Neil Armstrong and the Neil Gaiman Story. This is one of the stories which gives me hope. The astronaut felt like he was an imposter. He walked on the bloody moon, and he felt like he didn’t belong in a group of successful people.

Many of us have the same feelings. They are successful, they have made great strides in their field of work. Yet, no matter what they do, they still feel like an outsider, like a has-been, a fraud, a failure.

To Fight the Good Fight.

But how do I fight it? How do I keep going, despite at times feeling like I am the biggest fraud out there?

The answer is complicated. I have to convince myself that what I’m doing isn’t that important; that it is okay if no one reads it.

This mentality means that when people tell me they read my blog, it is incredible to me. Because why would anyone want to read it?

I also have my goals set up. They are a vital part of my strategy to beat imposters syndrome. The threat of not making my goals and failing this year is bigger than imposters syndrome. It forces me to write the words and do the things, even though deep down, I think that I’m a fraud.

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