napedde

Writing, Word Counts and Children

I have two kids, aged nine and seven. The older of the two is Donnie, and the youngest is Audrey. The pair of them are mischievous and tend to get into things. They are kids.

My son is interested in anything and everything. Especially when it comes to three things. Learning, being active, and telling stories. He enjoys reading, asking as many questions as he can, and learning everything. I have a policy of “if he asks the question, I will answer it.”

Audrey’s work rotates around one thing; dancing. She loves to dance, and she does ballet. She also loves animals, reading books about dragons and swimming in the ocean. She has also taken to asking different questions.

With it being summer, they both want to do things. Going to the park, going to the beach, going out to the mall. Or spending all day on their tablets, watching Netflix or on their Gameboy. Trying to be a good parent, it is hard to balance time outside, time reading, and screen time.

Being an author, I have a goal of writing half a million words by the end of 2019 and writing for 365 days in a row — I haven’t missed a day yet — it’s hard to keep the balance between being a good dad and writing my words.

There are a couple things that I do to help keep that balance. The one thing is that I’ve informed my kids that writing my words is my job. I have to do this. I have also talked to them about making goals and the importance of them. They have set their own goals. My son will go out of his way to encourage me to write. I have written a set of posts about making and keeping goals. You can read that post here.

I also keep my goals at the forefront of my mind. It is easy to get discouraged and lose track of the goal. It is easy to say, “You have worked hard. It’s fine to take a day off.” This mentality is problematic. Cause if you break it one day, then it happens the next, and then three weeks later, you realize that you haven’t done your goal in that time.

For me, getting time to work on that goal, my writing, is a daily struggle. I have to set the time out in able to do it. I’ve talked to many people that have similar goals that work day jobs, or have other distracting things to deal with each day. However, it is still important to fight for that time. If you work a labor-intensive job and at the end of the day you are tired, then perhaps writing when you get home from work is a bad idea. Maybe getting up an hour earlier will be better for you.

The important thing to realize is, your goal is important. If you followed my steps I posted in Jan 2019, then you will have split the ultimate goal into smaller daily steps. Those daily steps need to be done. Mine is writing every day. If your goal is to lose weight, then perhaps exercising every day is important.

If you like what you are reading and wish to support me in my endeavors, please sign up to my newsletter, visit my Amazon Author Page and purchase one of my books. Or buy me a coffee. Your help and support are much appreciated.

Better than a Broken Blackberry

GUEST POST BY BREN MACDONALD

Instagram: @BDMacDonaldPhoto

Your regularly scheduled program has been temporarily interrupted (Nathan is currently busy and I’m taking the spot. I’m not giving him an option.). My name, as the byline above indicates, is Bren MacDonald. I’m a professional photographer. When I was younger and had my head stuffed so much further up my ass than I do now, I took the cover photo for Dark Ages 2.0.

(Post-apocalyptic tale of survival or cell phone repair guide, YOU DECIDE!)

Some of the blame for poor book sales belong to me.

It’s not enough to be a photo that qualifies as proficient. Good lighting, composition, and the compelling subject will all fall flat if it tells the wrong message.

So let us look at a better photo.

I want you to take it in. Is this photo compelling? What do you see first? Where is your eye guided? Where does your eye linger?

Okay now I want you to scroll down

Did you see the woman?

Be honest.

If you did, congratulations! If you didn’t, scroll back up and take another look.

If you still can’t find her, look in the lower right corner. Cool, eh?

Now even if you saw the hidden lady the first time you looked at the picture, chances are you didn’t see her right away. Fairly obvious, but that’s by design. I’d like to talk about how I hid the most interesting part of the picture in plain sight.

PLANNING:

I was brought on late to this project. The concept was the make up artist’s, and she’d already scouted the location. I’ve loved camouflage concepts for years, and I was excited to do one myself.

We drove to the location and then discovered a bit of a flaw in the plan. The scouting was done mid-week when the park was empty, but the shoot was scheduled for a holiday when the park was very, very busy.

This is a body paint concept. So…

PLAN B:

I suggested another location which would be less traffic’d. Upside, a wooded location with the required degree of privacy. The downside, we’re going into a new location blind with two hours of our day gone. The pressure was on me to commit to the framing for a shot that I wouldn’t be taking for FOUR HOURS.

The biggest challenge was predicting what the light was going to look when the photo was taken, knowing full well that if the light shined directly on the model the illusion would fall apart. No pressure or anything, heh.

COMPOSITION AND LIGHTING:

In any composition, your eye is drawn to the brightest part of the frame. From there, the visual lines guide where your eyes are most likely to travel. Let’s take another look at the photo.

The trees flow to the light on the forest floor which flows to the log and right on past the area I don’t want you to see right away. My ego wishes I could take credit for the lines being created by the light, but that was serendipity.

As an added bonus, the midground has enough detail that even knowing there’s something more in the picture most people are going to be looking there instead of the foreground.

CONCLUSION:

At the end of the day, it’s a decent enough photo that people glance at it and appreciate it as a nice looking forest landscape, but it’s not electrifying. Ironically, this is probably a big reason it works as well as it does; it’s good enough to not make a casual observer think there’s something else going on, but not so much that the average audience is drawn in to look into every corner right away.

And I would say, it is a damn sight more successful at what it’s trying to do than a cracked phone on a dark blue background.

End of June 2019 Report

As is now tradition, this is the post of the end of June. I am still putting my money where my mouth is.

RECAP OF THE UPDATED 2019 GOALS

Write 500,000 words in personal, non-school related projects.
Complete and publish Felix #2, Felix #3, ~~Des O’Neal #1~~, Des O’Neal #2, Des O’Neal #3, Jovian Marines #1, Jovian Marines #2, Jovian Marines #3, Mech Warrior #1, Mech Warrior #2, Mech Warrior #3.
1. Complete and Publish VRMMORPG
Correct cover for Felix #1.
Write four blog posts per month
Give Felix #1 and Tokyo Tempest #1 a proofread.
Complete and submit to market Terran Marine Raider short #1, Terran Marine Raider short #2, and ~~RPG Death short~~.
1. Added goal: complete and submit to market, JSS Leda (New title From Planet Everdark), secret short #2 and secret short #3.
Earn $1000.00 a month from novels.
~~Relaunch publishing company with a new, stronger name.~~
Get 1 client for editing services.
NEW GOAL: Lose 90 lbs and get healthier.
NEW GOAL: Write for 365 Days in a row of at least 100 words per day.

JUNE ACCOMPLISHMENTS

I wrote 42,886 words.
I have written for 182 days in a row.
I spent most of this month working on my VR story.
I have passed the 50% mark in total yearly words at 253k.
Waiting to hear back if my short story with the previous title, JSS Leda (New title From Planet Everdark) is accepted or not.
Working with a local cover artist for a bunch of covers for books.
Edited Secret short #2, reading it for submission.
Working on the edit for Mechwarrior #1.
Wrote 4 blog posts during June.
Starting weight 286lbs, weight today, 263lbs.

EXAMINATION OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS

I wrote just over 42k words in June. Total word-wise, it is not the best that I have done, however, once you split it up into per day averages, it is the second best that I have pulled off. I managed to write a few 3k and 4k days to make up the lackluster numbers of other days.
This is still the longest days in a row I have written by far as well as the longest yearly word count. I count that as a win. My goal is to write 365 days in a row.
I have finished editing the short story. It is short story set in a post-apocalyptic world where Yellowstone Supervolcano exploded. It is about Captain Adele of the SV Wanderlust and her goal to deliver expensive cargo to its destination and to defeat other Captains who want the shipment for themselves. Once it is submitted and accepted, it will get a full blog post. For now, this will have to do.
I am working on editing Mech Warrior #1.
A local cover artist, not my wife is working on what I am calling “art assets.” These are so my wife can turn them into beautiful covers. They will be works of art on there own but will have no titling, which is why I need my wife.
My blog posts are still happening.
I have been on this new diet for a month now. My energy is high, however, I crave chips.

PLAN FOR THE FUTURE

This month was harder than most. I feel like I’m starting to burn out, yet I need to ramp up my efforts and get more stuff done. The summer session semesters at school was split into two short semesters with the first part completed. Now with only one course, it should be easier to get other things done and to look after myself, as well.

I did get a lot of other stuff done. However, nothing published. The hold up is covers and editing at the moment. I have the one book, Missed Drop Zone, ready to go. But there is no real rush. I want to do things right and not make mistakes.

I have started to edit other works, the short stories as they come up. They are a good distraction in some ways, a poor one in others. I have the feeling that I am not going to get my goal of getting all of those stories published. I’m going to run out of time and word count. But there is always next year, as long as I have manuscripts done.

I have created an editing schedule, but it is hard to keep on it. I am hoping to get at least three more novels edited by September. It is a hard target to hit, but I think that it is possible.

The VRMMORPG story is going well. I’m at 60k out of a target of 100k. So things are progressing nicely. It is not going to be a stand alone. I tried. It’ll be a trilogy; if not longer.

So the plan, work on VRMMORPG, edit other novels. Get covers. Get books published.

Dealing with Distractions

So most of my classes for the summer are over. I have one remaining, which runs until the beginning of August. You’d think that I’d have time to double my productivity as I have more free time.

I thought so, I made a plan on it.

In my writing endeavors, the big issue that I am dealing with now is that I have many manuscripts with a completed first draft sitting in a pile waiting to be edited. This all takes time, time which I didn’t have, and now I do right?

My brain is on summer right now. It doesn’t want to cooperate for me. It wants to play video games and watch Netflix.

My main computer is a massive time suck. Mainly Facebook and Youtube. Those two sites are one of the main reason nothing gets done until late, and I’m in panic mode. Youtube especially.

My kids are also off for the summer. They want to hang with me and do things. Outside. Like going to the beach or the skate park. Things that hamper my ability to get things done.

There has to be a solution to this problem of mine. How do I deal with the distractions?

My solution so far is to move my laptop, where I do most of my writing, to a coffee shop or library. Coffee shop costs money, while the library does not.

This solution may remove some of the distractions. At the Library, my kids can read as many books as they want at they want and I can get some work done.

It’s not the best solution, but besides turning off my internet, it is the only one I got.

Making Hard Decisions

Growing up, the hardest decision that I had to make was whether I wanted to get that summer job or if I wanted to be a lazy slob watching TV on the couch.

Today, I have harder decisions to make. I’m a dad, a husband, a student, and an author. These roles have responsibilities that I have to fulfill. It is something which has to be done. I have little choice on the matter.

As a dad, I have to be there for my kids. I have to make hard decisions that will turn them into adequately adjusted adults. Decisions made about my relationship with my wife keeps me out of divorce court.

However, most of those decisions are not hard to make. They don’t take any effort on my part. Some decisions, those that cost me money or have ambiguous choices, are harder to make.

Moving down from my home town to Vancouver Island was one such decision. It was a big move that cost us a lot of money. It also put on hold any possibility of me buying another house. (House costs are average 250k up north, while a similar home on the island is 600k.) There were many possibilities on what to do. What wasn’t on the list was staying up North.

That falls under the category of keeping myself out of divorce court. My wife is an artist, always has been. Even the days when she said that she wasn’t. She wanted to go to art school. So that meant that we’d be moving. The hard decision was what city to move to.

Another hard choice was what I wanted to do after I got laid off from my day job. Go back to school, or get a laborer job making less than what I was before with longer hours and not seeing my family. I chose to go back to school. I was tempted to get a business degree. However, I chose to go to the creative writing route.

The decision was hard to make. It took me all weekend to make it, I then signed up on the last week before the cut-off ended. It was a mad dash to get my paperwork into the school.

So how did I make these hard decisions?

The first thing is to remove emotion from the equation. Emotions don’t help anything. They cloud your judgment, and it is a well-known fact that people making decisions based on emotions are always wrong.

For me, I take a piece of paper, and I write the decision on the top. ‘Go back to school for Creative Writing.’

I then split it in half for Pros and Cons. I give a numeric value to each pro and con on how big of an issue it may be. ‘Being off work’ was high at a nine, as well as ‘getting student loans.’ I added up both column, and some simple math later showed a number.

This allowed me to compare the different decisions on what I wanted to do.

It is, however, biased as you are rating your own decision. It will tell you what you already know and want. But it will put things into perspective for you. So you can try to see the whole picture.

Expanding the Comfort Zone

Every creative has an area of work that they find comfortable. It might be a painter drawing nothing but flowers. A photographer taking photos of her kids only. Or an author writing fan fiction.

There is nothing wrong with doing art in those mediums about those subjects. The artwork needs to be created.

However, if the creative only creates art in those mediums, then the artist will soon find herself in a rut. The art will stagnate and become stale. Or at least that will be the perception.

Once an artist is in a rut, the quality of art drops as the artist struggles. It is a natural cycle that happens, however, it can spiral down towards creative death.

This is what happened to me. I got into a rut with my writing. I didn’t know how to make my art better and improve my craft. I got to where simple criticism of my crappy writing caused me to go into a downward spiral that hampers me being creative.

I came an inch from wanting to quit altogether. Before I restarted the blog at the start of this year, I was going to quit. I was going to leave being creative and go do something else with my life. Once I figured out what that was.

I had gotten myself in a rut with my writing. It wasn’t improving, in fact, it dropped. It had gotten worse.

It was only once I started to expand my comfort zone did I start to improve. It wasn’t comfortable to put myself out there. It wasn’t comfortable to force myself to write every day. It wasn’t comfortable to go back to school. It isn’t comfortable to take a journalism course.

But doing so, trying to expand my comfort zone forced me to get better. It forced me to improve my craft. The items outside my comfort zone got me to relearn how I did things. It forced me to learn new things and fix those that I was doing wrong.

So in short, push the comfort zone. Go outward and try new things. Write new things, take new styles of photos, paint new subjects. If the creative subject makes you uncomfortable, perhaps it is something that you should try. Perhaps it will force you to learn.

Until then, if you like what you are reading and wish to support me in my endeavours, please sign up to my newsletter, visit my Amazon Author Page and purchase one of my books. Or buy me a coffee. Your help and support are much appreciated.

Imposter’s Syndrome

As you all may be aware, I’m not one to follow the standard logic behind Writer’s Block. The standard is that it is this immovable force that the Muse puts before you and forces you not to write. I believe that it is your subconscious standing in your way telling you there is something wrong with your story.

From the website: Psychology Today

The imposter syndrome is a psychological term referring to a pattern of behavior where people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.

This is on the lines of what I believe that imposter’s syndrome is. Unlike Writer’s Block, there is no mistake on what it represents. There is no ‘hack’ in my mind to solving it like I do with “Writer’s Block.” Why? Cause I have it.

Every Sunday for the past six months, I have been publishing a blog post. And every Sunday, I see the same people reading what I say and liking it. It turns out that there are people out there from around the world who want to read what I have to say.

I honestly don’t know why. My mind says that I’m not special with nothing good to say, despite being able to post every week. It also tells me that I haven’t earned even the success that I have so far and that it was a fluke. The anxiety that I had to post this blog kept me from writing it for a month so far.

The Silent Killer of Creativity

The big issue with imposters syndrome for many people, myself included, is that it stops us from trying. It also prevents us from seeking help. There is a stigma to it, that perhaps those thoughts are correct and that if you come out and say it, people will judge you for it.

It stopped me from writing or doing creative things. It has stopped me from drawing things, from trying new things and from putting my work out there.

The threat of being exposed as a fraud is a giant wall for many people. They end up drawing endless notebooks worth of material, and never post it anywhere. They write novels and novels of stories. However, they don’t put it out for publication. The threat of being a fraud, of opening your mouth and proving to the world the truth is too great for many people.

Even the best of us.

The Neil Armstrong and the Neil Gaiman Story. This is one of the stories which gives me hope. The astronaut felt like he was an imposter. He walked on the bloody moon, and he felt like he didn’t belong in a group of successful people.

Many of us have the same feelings. They are successful, they have made great strides in their field of work. Yet, no matter what they do, they still feel like an outsider, like a has-been, a fraud, a failure.

To Fight the Good Fight.

But how do I fight it? How do I keep going, despite at times feeling like I am the biggest fraud out there?

The answer is complicated. I have to convince myself that what I’m doing isn’t that important; that it is okay if no one reads it.

This mentality means that when people tell me they read my blog, it is incredible to me. Because why would anyone want to read it?

I also have my goals set up. They are a vital part of my strategy to beat imposters syndrome. The threat of not making my goals and failing this year is bigger than imposters syndrome. It forces me to write the words and do the things, even though deep down, I think that I’m a fraud.

If you like what you are reading and wish to support me in my endeavours, please sign up to my newsletter, visit my Amazon Author Page and purchase one of my books. Or buy me a coffee. Your help and support are much appreciated.

Mantras: An Update. Part Two.

I use the term Mantras as I don’t know what else to use. To me, they are sayings of philosophies that help keep things in perspective. They help remind me when my motivation or philosophy is flagging.

The first one in this series is:

If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.

I believe that you need to dream big to succeed. Then if you don’t complete your goal, you will find that you had accomplished so much. I think the saying is that if you aim for the moon because if you miss, you will find yourself amongst the stars.

And that is what I am going to do. I am dreaming big. It scares me. I will pull my socks up and not let the years roll by and then wish to myself that I had done so.

The way to do that is to make yourself better one day at a time. Read a book, cause the next day you will be that much smarter. Work out, cause you will be stronger. For me, it is writing my stories. Cause one day, the story will be finished, published. It is a long process, but it all has to start at one point.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

This can be broken up into three parts. The first means that just because you find success in one task, doesn’t mean you can rest for the second task. Life is an endurance game after all, and it is keeping up the pressure from one day to the next; one task to the next that keeps success final.

The second. Failure is not fatal. When a person fails at something; the world has ended. This comes crashing down, the world burns.

Except that it hasn’t. Failing at one task, within reason, doesn’t end a career. It doesn’t mean that an author or creative should burn all of their work cause they messed up on one piece. There is the next piece; learn from the mistakes and move one.

The last part of the piece is to not let the outcomes of the past affect your presence. Yes, learn from it. But afterward, forget. Don’t let the embarrassment of the failure mean you don’t try again today. And, don’t let the one successful piece go to your ego. That will make you slake off on the current work and cause the second piece to fail.

Other than death, all defeats are psychological.

People fail, and this saying deals with that. When we fail, the most harm that happens is not physically. (Assuming death is not the consequence.) We are harmed psychologically by ourselves. We are our own worst critic and many times see the bad in every situation. We think people laugh at us, cause we want to be accepted. Failure and defeat mean a lack of acceptance from our peers.

This goes in hand with the previous sayings. Don’t give up because of one failure. Keep going and try again. The greatest harm is stopping and not giving up on your dream.

I have a few more to go over, but those will have to wait for next week. Until then, if you like what you are reading and wish to support me in my endeavours, please sign up to my newsletter, visit my Amazon Author Page and purchase one of my books. Or buy me a coffee. Your help and support are much appreciated.

End of May 2019 Report

As like the post for the end of January, this is the post of the end of May. I am still putting my money where my mouth is.

RECAP OF 2019 GOALS

Write 500,000 words in personal, non-school related projects.
Complete and publish Felix #2, Felix #3, ~~Des O’Neal #1~~, Des O’Neal #2, Des O’Neal #3, Jovian Marines #1, Jovian Marines #2, Jovian Marines #3, Mech Warrior #1, Mech Warrior #2, Mech Warrior #3.
1. Complete and Publish VRMMORPG
Correct cover for Felix #1.
Write four blog posts per month
Give Felix #1 and Tokyo Tempest #1 a proofread.
Complete and submit to market Terran Marine Raider short #1, Terran Marine Raider short #2, and ~~RPG Death short~~.
1. Added goal: complete and submit to market, JSS Leda, secret short #2 and secret short #3.
Earn $1000.00 a month from novels.
~~Relaunch publishing company with a new, stronger name.~~
Get 1 client for editing services.
NEW GOAL: Lose 90 lbs and get healthier.

APRIL ACCOMPLISHMENTS

I wrote 43,055 words.
I have written for 151 days in a row, which is also at the approx one-third mark in the days of the year.
I spent most of this month working on short stories and not on longer fiction.
I have started the first draft for a new story.
I have passed the 40% mark in total yearly words at 210k.
Edited the short story with a working title called the JSS Leda and submitted it to market.
Working with a local cover artist for a bunch of covers for books.
Completed edited Jovian Marines #1.
Wrote 4 blog posts during May.
Starting weight 286lbs, weight today, 268lbs.

EXAMINATION OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS

I wrote just over 43k words in May. It is better than the last two months. I have managed to pull off a couple really good days that have helped bolster my poor days.
This is the longest days in a row I have written by far as well as the longest yearly word count. I count that as a win.
I have first drafted another short story. A secret project that I will keep secret for now.
I am working on editing my secret project.
A local cover artist, not my wife is working on what I am calling “art assets.” These are so my wife can turn them into beautiful covers. They will be works of art on there own but will have no titling, which is why I need my wife.
The edits of Jovian Marines #1 are completed. It just have to get a cover and I can publish it. As soon as I get it back from a proofreader.
My blog posts are still happening. Even when I forget.
I have been on this new diet for a month now. My energy is high, however, I crave chips.

PLAN FOR THE FUTURE

This month was hard at some points, and stressful at others and flowed when it did. A new semester at school has started so new courses to distract me. I did get a lot of other stuff done. However, nothing published.

With Missed Drop Zone finished edited this month, I need to start editing other titles. However, figuring out a good editing schedule is difficult at best. I will figure it out. Having them first drafter is a feat on its own.

The VRMMORPG story listed above is an oops. I didn’t intend to start another story, however, it is flowing. I like the characters, I like the plot. I am hoping to keep this a stand-alone. It is me though. I tend to write long stories.

So the plan, work on VRMMORPG, edit other novels. Get covers. Get books published.

Mantras: An Update. Part One.

(Note: Due to a misclick, this wasn’t published on Sunday. Apologies.)

Since the start of starting this blog, I have written over a hundred blog posts. I believe that this will be the hundred and first post. And throughout my writings, I have mentioned that I have adopted some personal sayings that help me keep perspective and encouragement.

There is a couple of points to go over first. These work for me, and may not work for you. If anything that I have seems to work for you, please feel free to adopt it as your own. I am NOT the creature of any saying. I found them from other people.

Sometimes life is about risking everything for a dream no one can see but you.

I honestly don’t remember where I saw this one. I found it on a piece of paper that I had written down a while ago. But this makes sense to me.

Being a creative, I do things that many people in my own family don’t understand or even try to understand. And this is fine. I don’t want or need them to understand. Me attempting to make a living writing is not open to debate. I’m going to go after my dream.

I hear this all the time. A non-creative family member not supporting a creative cause they don’t understand it. They don’t understand it, cause they can’t see the dream. And as such, they don’t support the creative in their task. Some up to the point of hindering the creative. And by hindering, I don’t mean just pure ridicule, though that happens. Hindering by not allowing them the time to do the creative things, or even selling their computer on them.

(A writing friend told me that her spouse sold their laptop to make rent once.)

I have my dream, and I have laid out a path that should get me my dream. I don’t need anyone else to see my dream but for me.

If you don’t risk failure, then you don’t deserve success.

Failing at something is terrible for people. Right? Wrong. Failing at something means that you tried. And that is the crucial part. Many people think that if they don’t try, then they can’t fail. The truth in the matter is that by not trying, you have already failed.

Like signing up to a college class and not writing the exam. You still failed the class. In life, you are already signed up to the class. To succeed in life, one MUST try to succeed and in that sense, risk failure.

I have seen many people that get paralyzed, myself included, by the fear of failure. It is this dark lurking beast that stands over you while you are doing the thing that you love to do. In my case, it stands over me while I write my books.

But the truth in the matter is once you get over the fact that you fell on your face, you can get back up and ask the fundamental question. The question that many people don’t ask. What went wrong?

Many people get emotionally attached to what they are doing and when they find out that it wasn’t as good as they thought, then they give up. They put up the pen and do something else. They give up on that creative desire cause that desire was hard, or they slipped the first try.

You have got to risk the failure and fail to get anywhere. Cause it isn’t without failure that anyone gets any better.

The only easy day was yesterday.

This is actually a saying from the US Navy Seals. The meaning is that every day, you will need to work harder than the last. But when you work hard every day and see what you’re now capable of, then yesterday seems easy.

And that is important as a creative and a writer. I have got to keep going, keep working hard at it. Each book needs to be better than the last. Each character that I create more real, each setting more natural. Each book takes a shorter amount of time, is cleaner. Fewer edits needed than the one before.

I don’t know if I am doing it. I am incapable of judging my own work. I see all the flaws in the novels, but I also see the right parts. I have to keep going, keep learning, cause the last project eas easy. Wait until you see what I have planned for next.